The Weight of Academic Pressure
Once upon a time, when I was a little girl
I would look in the mirror and think about
Princesses, Ponies, Pink
Innocent smiles, innocent mistakes
And all was there was all that was good
Then one day, I was sitting at the table crowded with kindergarteners
I was told that “all Asians are smart”
Therefore, it was expected of me, rooted in my identity
From that moment on, I grew older
Time spent playing outside, turned to hours spent sitting at the kitchen table
Legs cramping, the hum of the night air echoing in my ears until well past bedtime
Teachers now see an exceptional test score
What is not known is the pain dancing underneath the skin of my fingertips
The fog that covers my sleepy brain like a weighted blanket
The ache of my heart, knowing that I am to do it all over again
Today, Tomorrow, And the day after
My friends ask me how I did on the exam
“Of course she got only one thing wrong”
“Why did I even ask, she’s Asian”
“She’s just smart like that”
What is not known are the thoughts of disappointment dancing through my mind
The time I know would be spent gripping tear soaked pillows
Wishing I was known as anything but smart
Because if all I am is smart,
then the numbers that load on my grade book define my worth.
Because if all I am is smart,
then how am I to be remembered for anything else?
Because if all I am is smart,
then one small mistake will take all it is that I am.
About this poem
I wrote this poem based on the feelings that I have had bottled up within my heart for the past four years, ever since I started middle school. I know that this intangible pressure is a sensation many experience, and it took some self reflection in order to complete this piece.
Written on April 25, 2024
Submitted by loulousaldana on April 25, 2024
- 1:24 min read
- 0 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | xxxax abx cxx xxxxc dxxxxxb BxBxBd |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic hexameter |
Characters | 1,427 |
Words | 282 |
Stanzas | 6 |
Stanza Lengths | 5, 3, 3, 5, 7, 6 |
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"The Weight of Academic Pressure" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/187007/the-weight-of-academic-pressure>.
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