Rewind

Can I rewind?
To a time
Before I foolishly called you mine.
Just so I can recognize the line,
So I can realize this thing won’t exist,
And you will always resist.
So I can realize there is no us.
And for you, this was just a thing of lust.

So can I please rewind?
To a time
Where I didn’t want to die,
To a time where I didn’t constantly have to hide.
To a time before I knew you,
Or even to the time where I thought the lies you told were true.

I just want to rewind!
To before I was in rapture
Of all of you,
To a time where I was in awe
Of everything I believed to be true,
To a time when I didn’t know your flaws
To a time where I thought,
I could make you fall.
To a time where I didn’t know
Love isn’t a thing you can capture.

I need to rewind.
So I don’t have the vision
Of you walking out the door,
Without even considering I might’ve wanted more,
Stuck in my head, playing on repeat.
Just to where the self-hate hadn’t risen.
Not yet at least.

But I can’t rewind.
Stuck knowing your game,
The feel of your name
Stuck on my skin,
With me wearing it every day,
I didn’t want to play
But now I have to call you
My biggest sin.

I wish I could rewind.
Not because of you,
But because I never deserved to go through,
All of this.
Yeah I wanna take back that risk,
But because I miss who I was before.
When you left, you
YOU shut that door.