Reminiscence

Watch the people around you grow older
every second of every day
as you avoid your own reflection in the bathroom mirrors because you don't grow.
You have a staring contest with yourself;
trying to watch yourself get out of this frivolous state of obsession
But you'll see no change when you watch the paint dry on the wall
It only becomes duller.

The kids around you play with their baby dolls or their toy cars and here you are
having to think about actual kids or finally driving an actual car.
And they seem happy, they're in the moment;
they're more mature than you.
Friendliness is almost a default trait but it seems to fade every time your clothing becomes tighter.
Will you share your toys with yourself?

Adults are not any better when they're
constantly complaining about their age,
but when you do the same, suddenly it's
"You're not old, you're still young!"
Then let me catch fireflies and try to remember the way they glow;
because they shine brighter than I have since my baby teeth fell out.

"Dear future me," Your younger self wrote,
your handwriting vastly different
"i hope you're doing well.
Do you still have my barbies?
Have you grown?
I hope we're tall now.
Do mom and dad still fight?
Do we still feel lost?
Are we still friends with our group,
or is our only friend the guilt we feel weighing on our heart
since third grade?
Have you figured out life?"

Silly child, life isn't an equation
There's no 'figuring it out'.
You simply come to terms with what you've got,
and if you can't?
Well, you'll just have to suck it up!
Life isn't fair, little one;
and if your guts have to fall out in front of you
for you to realize that,
then maybe living without them can't be that bad.