Self-Medicated

Self-Medicated
Arm chair diagnosis to numb myself to the ailments that are corrosive
To my psyche eliminate the feelings I'm not liking so that I be in a state of brief respite
That green tree my favorite prescription to write on bad nights it always hits right
So add the water, load the bowl, add some flame soon there will be no pain
So high I can't see myself thank God, cuz I don't really wanna be myself
I wanna be greened out, cotton mouthed, stuck to the couch giggling for hours
From dopamine hits, I'm lit, about my problems I forget, I'll save those for future me
Right now I'm killing off this mood with its eulogy
Or so I thought that's what it would do for me, not realizing I was the same being
Just a different perspective, my being not protected, emotions loose and projected
Self control neglected
I've come to hate this prescription, an addiction to not feel anything but good
I no longer dream or aspire, I'm always tired, can't start the day without the green fired
Mind mired because I'm Self medicated instead of meditative, I rather be numb and it feeds my self hatred.