My messed-up world

My home isn’t my home
I feel wired inside it
My walls are caving in
It all is trying to kill me

My family isnt my family
I feel off with them
They all dont want me in their life
They come at me with pitchforks and knives torches and swords

All of this feels real to me
In my fucked up brain
I know its not true, but sometimes it feels so

My friends arent my friends
They dont want me around
I push myself in just for them to push me back out
I'm lucky I’m not on the edge of a building or next to a cliff
Because they push too hard and I might go off it

Sometimes I wish this life was mine
One bad enough to justify my actions
Bad in all reality my life’s not that bad
There is only one thing that hurts me,
truly hurts me and I don't know how to say it

All my relationships burn up in flames
As if I'm a demigod who can't control his powers, I burn up their hearts
I go in with love, kindness, and glee, I come out with sadness and ash in my hand
It all is my fault I made a mistake
I say something off or hurt you in some way
You turn around and say I am an ass,
You say I don't deserve your love
I hear…
I do not deserve love
All I know is I'm a terrible person
I do not have any life, any soul, or humanity
I am just a shell with no emotions inside
And all I can do is hurt you again