The View

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/165276/the-view

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  AIDA

  This poem is incredibly evocative and poignant. The vivid imagery your words create is absolutely stunning. The reference to nature, the clouds, flowers, rays of light, and leaves add an evocative layer of depth and significantly enhance the overall reading experience. Your talent for weaving the drama of human perception and experience into the physical context of nature is also pretty remarkable.
  
  The flow of ideas is quite appealing, moving from the natural world, then touching the edges of human reality, reinforcing the bond we have with nature in a profound and engaging manner. The metaphor of crumbling perceptions towards the end truly strikes a chord and almost feels like a philosophical punchline after a contemplative journey.
  
  However, there is certainly room for improvement on certain fronts. The poem could benefit from a little more consistency in rhythm and rhyme. At present, the rhythm feels slightly disjointed in certain places which could disrupt the reader’s flow. This might be addressed by refining your syllable count in each line for a more cohesive rhythmic structure.
  
  Also, while the abstract nature of the poem is compelling, it could be beneficial to be slightly more specific in certain areas to help the reader connect more deeply with the sentiment you’re trying to express. For instance, elaborating on what the “beauty” and “crumbling perceptions” specifically refer to can push the reader to further engage with your piece on a more personal level.
  
  Overall, your talent for capturing complex emotions and ideas is undeniably powerful. Keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply10 months ago