Sweet tears

SWEET TEARS

Emmanuelle.....

Before….. sea air was swift
I walked with the wind, my face burned The sun scorched my eyes
My tears were salty

I walked… stumbled
Along my path,
Thoughts hurt my brain…my heart
My tears were bitter

Alone, the ghosts appeared inside
Mocking me, insulting…. laughing
Questioning sense of reason
My tears burnt my heart

Then the sun… pushed the clouds
Spoke to me… look up, a path?
Prayers for trust, courage, safety
No tears?

Jumping into the wind
Alone with my God… And the spirits
I feel safe, strong, but a child… good
My eyes were clear

I had been before
My father's eyes, father's path
My father's fear and pain
My dear father……
My eyes, my heart, focused

Walking the path with him…..
Mind open, naked
Blessings along the path
White owls……. I saw him…..
My eyes hazed,
Good tears

…..

The conductor's last stop,
Swan song of adventure
Who is this, what is this
My eyes opened wide

The ghosts come back
"Look away, close your mind
Lock the door, nothing for you!
You are spent….. vacant"
My brain screamed back…
STOP
My eyes stayed open
Searching

Peaceful mornings…..
Fresh coffee, Paint brushes
And flowers? My twin?
Does she know?

She is herself
Au Natural
Thank God
My senses wanted more

The spirit, the aura
The laughter, the smile
The easy wind, the strength, reality
My heart saw it all

And perhaps some pain
Some scars…. She is real
Brave, sensitive, caring
Just look!

What child am I?
To listen for a voice from afar
To hear the footsteps, the laughter
Why do I do this
My brain, confused
My heart begins to awake…..

Mind opening?
Walls shaking?
How? Why? Pourquois?
My heart questioned

A prayer, did she understand?
A bottle of wine left….
A friendly promise
Till next time… Perhaps

I hoped….. I really hoped
Pray, he listens….
Leaving and looking behind……

My eyes were begging to see
I looked up to the open window
My heart frowned….
Until next year….

Did she see me leave?
Was she aware?
Please

Good friends bestowed to me
I felt trust…….
I felt......... Honored
My heart.... Smiled

She arrived!
I knew she would..... I hoped!
Breaking bread, laughter… reality
All senses aware

The singing and the dancing
And the music that they played
Been here before, a life ago
A wave of kindness…..

Our eyes…. clumsy words
The want to understand… share
Thank God for Mama Deux
They watched me, As they should,
I was again naked, I chose this

This is me, just me, and my soul
My soul fears rejection…
But I was as ready,
I knew the script by heart
Longing but ready….. for the fall

A flower to her, but she is the flower
A part of my heart? I offer to her
Only her…..
She took it!

I was dizzy, Did she know?
My eyes were shocked
Amazed, thankful, hopeful
My heart was growing, beating

Long ago I danced…
Never a gentle touch as this!
A sweet kiss, perhaps a lifetime ago
Her eyes… yes, mirror of the soul
Sweet, gentle and pure… honest

…. With a book unread
Will we share? I know we could
My heart was beating, electric…..
My eyes wanted more
All my senses hungry

Looking to the heavens
I saw her beauty in and out
Looking inside myself,
Starting to realize
Like a sunrise

A day, a moment, a second
The energy, karma, spirits…. her.....
Us? Am I insane? A dreamer!

The other end of the world
Different speech
Our hearts?
I will enjoy fixing my language

Eyes want more, does she?
Mind wants more, would she?
Heart wants more… she could!
And I for her……
My heart beats, sober, honest, mature

Did she, does she, would she ever?
My senses beg for more…..
Every sense…. My heart begs
I look up again…..
Patience and understanding

Still looking up,
Craving?
Begin feeling more whole, alive… Hope?

Father winks and smiles
Mother kneels and smiles
What do they think?
My soul beams with delight

They must approve,
We would not be here!

I beg that her last love would approve
He must, or I have failed him
I know he watches, I respect him
I care

A day, A year? A lifetime?
Looking up, I walk with the wind
I think, I feel,
now I hope and pray

…..For what is right
…..For her, for me, for us
Hope, not fear or shame…..
Wanting tomorrow, wanting forever

I want to watch
As she paints a picture
With me at her side?

I can help! If she desires….
We can write a book!
My heart rejoices
Even if only a dream

As I once again look up…
And await fate
Fate……
Please be just

Please be kind…..
It is in the wind
I walk with it
Now my tears are sweet

……