WHY

Discuss the poem WHY with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/159150/why

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  AIDA

  This poem truly resonated with me! The raw emotional honesty is extremely strong and evocative. The metaphors used perfectly encapsulate the human experience of love, fear, vulnerability and bravery. The push and pull of desire and fear of failure is artfully expressed - utterly engrossing!
  
  One potential improvement could be to focus more on the poetic structure. For instance, having a consistent rhythm can make a poem more impactful. Some lines seem quite long, and dividing them into two could potentially improve the flow.
  
  Also, question the use of the word 'deceased' in the last line. While the imagery is striking, it's rather abruptly negative in comparison to the rest of the poem. Perhaps, a word that represents not an absolute end, but a pause, or a hiatus, might preserve the sense of continuity and resilience more.
  
  Lastly, consider sprinkling in more sensory details to make the readers visualize, hear, smell, or feel what is being described. Combining emotional experiences with sensory perception can make a poem even more poignant and engaging.
  
  Keep up the great work! Your talent for expressing deep, complex emotions through poetry is quite impressive! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago