Analysis of Shattered Hearts of A Bystander

For years the light has yet to be shown, for truth behold within us.
Our words can only do so much.
Though I know that words can hurt,
words can damage the souls untouched,
 but what we don’t realize is that actions fade away from that thought.
Actions take composition, thought, and trust.
Life makes us feel like we are constantly on edge.
If we are not the abuser we are a bystander living  in a house that trapped our souls away from the rest of the world.
Sitting there, watching
While doing nothing is an action in itself, we can’t always do something .
Fear takes over our mind like addiction, following us, living with something that is always there. Crawling long up our spines, unnoticed until it becomes others, traces back to those times we don’t remember.

*A bystander : one who is present but not taking part in a situation or event.*
 To take no action.
To not react, but doing so has led others to believe our false truths.
No one really knows what happened, no one really knows what to do.
We are all victims  to the very thought of wishing we were not there, to the very memory of just standing there.
Watching.
Truth be told one who just sat and watched, wasn’t trying to hurt the one getting harmed.
If anything we didn’t want to make the problem worse.
I was told to stay out of things that didn’t affect me.
*Shattered hearts of a bystander*
Watching and while not able to do anything in fear of it becoming worse.
Maybe that is not the only way of life.  
 It stays with you, never leaving you, like seeing a puppy alone on a road. you can’t always stop, but it says with you that you did nothing.
Living in a house full of abuse for 16 years of my life told me that  to survive  is living.
Survival of the fittest, and if you lose, you are no longer a bystander but the one getting watched.

I am a bystander, not a victim.
But many confuse the two.
I was affected by the ones  who couldn’t handle the abuse.
All I remember is standing there,
Watching the fights, watching the torment while I decided to abide by my morals.
Any moment I could have taken the pain away from others I would  but I was never given the option,
and is saving myself the best I can, selfish?
A bystander witnessing, living, trying to survive the life that I am not living.
Just someone who has tried to not come unwind while being an only witness in a testimony.
No one knows who to believe.
Maybe I'm living in false truths in disguise.
Maybe my life is all a lie.
That’s what they tell me.
That I made my false reality become real in others lives.

A bystander can be worse than the one getting watched.
To not compare.
Just to realize the addictions follows us within
the *shattered hearts of a bystander.*
What were we supposed to do?
Cry for help?
Well I admit I tried, but no one could hear me.
I wish I was never there, but I lived in a place that made me stay to hide away the pain.
Who could’ve helped?
I don’t know.
But the abuse became obvious to the ones blind,
the ones who will never know the truth.
They are all just like you.