Analysis of Needing that Father
I hate staring at it.
The skin tone, the nose, the lips, the eyes.
All of those achievable because of him.
So I roll my eyes when I look at the mirror.
I hate feeling it.
The belts, the words, the threats, the fear.
All of those memories engraved in my mind.
So I hide my feelings when I talk to him.
Never dependable.
Told that the phone goes both ways when I was 8.
Never kind.
Told that I spelt his name wrong when I was 4.
I would watch girls with their dads.
I wished that it would happen.
When it happened, he shouted.
He smoked in the car, and my dress smelled like weed.
I would see people with Nintendos.
I wished I could get one.
When it happened, he compared.
He gave me a Nintendo instead of a father figure and I was left crying.
He doesn’t know anything about me.
I no longer want to be an engineer or an astronaut.
My dreams are now about writing
He doesn’t know what I look like now.
I no longer have brown hair that reaches my back.
My dream was him coming to my graduation.
Looking back, I can envision the tears that escape Gabriel’s eyes as she slept alone in her father’s house.
Looking back, I can envision the ache in Gabriel’s stomach when her father never attended any of her school events.
He created fake memories.
He created fake moments.
He created fake stories.
He abandoned her.
He abused her.
He neglected her.
She was only a child.
She was only 4.
Only 4 when her dad allowed her to be bullied.
She was only a child.
She was only 9.
Only 9 when she found out she had a brother, and her dad was too broke to buy crayons for school.
I read the message that said he wish he never made her. I felt bad for the little girl that favored him.
I read the message that cursed her out when she was only 6. I felt bad for the little girl that thought she was his biggest disappointment.
When he finally talked to her after years, he screams.
Curses and derogations leave his mouth.
She’s stunned.
When he finally sees a corner of her face on the phone after years, he rolls his own eyes.
He brings up fake moments that never happened and blames her for him not talking to her.
She’s disappointed.
Why is this normal to her?
Why isn’t she surprised by his actions?
Why is she gripping her pillow after she decides that she needs to hang up?
Why does she look like him?
Why is he texting her afterwards?
Why is she running to her mother in tears?
Why does she need to finally cleanse and block him?
Why does the memories of him putting women above her roam her mind?
This man who doesn’t even know his daughter has such an impact on her. She blames herself.
This man who hasn’t spoken to his daughter in 3 years has moved her into a depression. She seeks love from others.
Scheme | abcd axec xf ef xgxh bgxi jxi xxg x x kxk ddd Ljh Ljx c x xxx bdx dxxc xxce x x |
---|---|
Poetic Form | |
Metre | 111011 011010101 11101000111 111111111010 11101 01010101 11110001011 11111011111 100100 1101111111 101 1111111111 1111111 1111110 1110110 11001011111 1111011 111111 1110101 111001001101010011110 11110011 111011111011110 11110110 11111111 111011111011 11111011010 1011101001101111110100101 101110100101101010100101010101 10101100 1010110 1010110 10100 1010 10100 111001 1110 101010101110 111001 1110 1011111101000111111111 11010111111010111101011101 11010110111110111101011111110010 1110011010111 1001111 11 11100101010110110111111 111110110100101111010 1010 1111010 111011110 111100101011111111 111111 11110100 11110101001 111111001011 110100111010010101 111110111011101101101 111110111001110010010111110 |
Closest metre | Iambic hexameter |
Characters | 2,778 |
Words | 601 |
Sentences | 62 |
Stanzas | 22 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 2, 2, 4, 4, 3, 3, 1, 1, 3, 3, 3, 3, 1, 1, 3, 3, 4, 4, 1, 1 |
Lines Amount | 58 |
Letters per line (avg) | 36 |
Words per line (avg) | 9 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 95 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 24 |
About this poem
A poem written due to a neglectful relationship with a father
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"Needing that Father" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 10 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/166023/needing-that-father>.
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