Analysis of First fill

You had your fill & I was uninvited…
selected guest list,
special needs signed off,
didn’t make you feel enough?...

You’ve found that love
comes with a guilty price.
The stickiness staining your reputation.

What mommy and daddy gave
wasn’t enough; it wasn't everything.
Thinking love was a bundle gift box set
for a birthday or graduation?

despite your best efforts,
the smartest of your class,
something must be tattooed,  
molded by your own hands
to call your own,
a page that fades but never dies.
I just want to fade into one of them.

Bewilderment in your eyes,  
disappointed it wasn't a fairy tale night?
Are warm bodies departing,
and your soul still cold & unscathed?

New questions in your head,
strange you never knew,
enough is never enough …
nothing comes complete
being a part of it is to thirst for more.

you've been loved, but not according to you,
you’ve got some of what you wanted,
Is it worth it to chase the other?