Analysis of 3:13 am

this is a special spot in a span of eighteen years
I'm longing to pen an ode to a certain someone
who has supported me in my failure, fall and fears
then opted to push me far away to come undone
kids building their friendship by pledging chaos in school
teens smoking Dunhill cigarettes and wearing dark clothes
fully fledged weed by the late night holiday house pool
now complete strangers whose eye contact paint blurry roads

you play your grand piano while I secretly write
songs for the ages to come when we're reminiscing
the memories we made when everything did feel right
til the day I feared came when they were long gone missing
but I kept those pictures that we took to remember
that in two years, we'd be celebrating two decades
of a friendship that was once oathed to be forever
despite all the gunshot wounding covered with band-aids

you were the one I drove miles to, under a stardust
and I was the one you called to meet in our hometown
when you said you'd be back home and I'm the one to trust
as I sat waiting at the airport bar with a frown
we went to a café and you opened up to me
about the down you broke in Montpellier months ago
the look in your eyes that was evidently joy-free
was the beginning of your now never-ending down low

you know I'd do anything to mend your broken bones
crushed from the unbearable sorrow consuming you
for photos that fulfilled freedom feelings from our phones
and birthday cakes that made me smile but now paint me blue
I would show up that night if I had a time machine
so we can keep blowing blunts, high up on your rooftop
filled with endless anecdotes of when we were thirteen
that helped me get through everything and made the bleeding stop

I once wrote you a poem to fix our humdrum splinter
after the fashion week front row souvenir you scrubbed
with Led Zeppelin on the record rocking my whimper
caused by the salt sprinkled on my open wound you rubbed
you didn't give a reason for me to bid farewell
what we had is something you have once in a lifetime
so I lay on my bed that drowned me in a lasting hell
lifelessly crying "cause I lost my partner in crime