Analysis of To feel alive Someday

For i never got to hold you i can still feel you.
For i never laid eyes upon you but i still hear you.
For ill never have the chance to be the mother of a small blonde with piercing blue eyes.
To hold in the silent cries for once you were apart mine.
You still keep me lifted up and teach me to shine.
While the rest of this world gives me shelter, the blanket that covers all of me you shall remain.
For no other could know how hard it is to ignore the pain.
to love another life that you could carry but to never hold.
But to the heavens i know your love shines bright and oh so bold.
When the lights go out and darkness surrounds me.
When do i escape the nightmares and come back to reality?
The voices tell me to harm another beings life.
The one of a girl standing behind the mirror holding a sharp and pointy knife.
You are my saving grace.
My only reason of holding it all together and keeping up in pace.
And by light comes morning shall i awake?
For all of me feels dead no that's just it. Its my own pain causing me a fucking headache.
For a god so trusted to allow a mother to take a life so sweet and fragile.
Now with my very last breath shall i draw a stabbing wound like the before me that was just begining to learn to grow and idle.